Scars and Secrets
by Pandorasghost
Summary: Italy come back one day wounded when Germany is trying to help him more than just how he got hurt comes out. GerIta/Yaoi MAJOR FLUFF character abuse
1. Chapter 1

_**I DO NOT OWN HETALIA NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WANT TO **_

**A/N hello~ this is my first fan fiction so please bear with me -.-'**

I was sitting on my couch reading a book on a night where it was snowing furiously. It was getting late and I was about to go to bed for the night, then I heard a weak knock on the door. I dismissed it as the wind until it happened again slightly louder and it was multiple knocks at once. I get up and open the door and to my shock there was a beaten and battered Italy limping inside.

I stood there in shock for a second then I just snap a bit "Italia! Vhat happened did Britain beat you up again!?"

He replied out of sadly and weakly "Ve~ no sir …"

"Then vhat happened? There is no way this could have happened on accident!" I barked trying to get answers from the beaten Italian

"Some enemy soldiers kidnapped me… and they mistook me as a civilian girl" Italy replied limping over to sit down on the couch

I couldn't help but giggle at the fact that they mistook Italy as a girl but then I regain my composure and ask in a serious tone "Vhere were they from?"

Italy looked at me almost like he didn't want to tell me then replied solemnly "Russia."

I snapped probably scarring Italy for life "I AM GOING TO BEAT THE RUSSIAN BASTARD IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" Then I calm down a bit and ask Italy seriously "Is there anything I could do for you?"

Italy replied a little shaken up "Don't instigate anything! It ... was my fault anyways… Si… can you help me with my wounds?"

"Ah… yes sorry I'll try not to." I reply somewhat hurt by him not wanting me to revenge him for this, then I get up and grab the first aid kit off my shelf on the other side of the room and rush back to Italy.

Italy doesn't say anything as I go to put anti-bacterial on his wounds then he cringes because it stings

"They told me that I needed to be taught respect." Italy said still cringing from the anti-bacterial

I thought about what little Italy could of possibly done to make them think that, but nothing came to mind so I said "Vhat could you have ever done to one of them to make them say that"

He hesitated to respond then said weakly "I kicked one of them in the groin"

"Vhy vould you do that to one of them Italy, it's obvious that it would cause a problem!" I say demandingly, then I stop and say "plus since when did you get the guts to that anyways."

Italy looked at me, hurt was in his eyes then he spoke again "When… when they thought I was a woman they tried to… um ... n-nothing"

That triggered something inside me and I say on impulse "Italia you should have said something, try to act more manly please…. I-I don't know what I vould do if something happened to you"

Italy looked at me grimly and replied "They/ did/ do something Captain."

"Vhat happened tell me?" I said it as if my life depended on it

"When they found out I was not a girl…they said that I tricked them… and I would have to pay…and they.. And they" Italy choked out

"AND THEY VHAT!"

"They called it 'love making' but I don't think it was..." Italy admitted weakly

I stood up in a tantrum "ITALY HOW COULD YOU LET THEM DO THAT TO YOU, I NEED TO GIVE THAT RUSSIAN ARSCHLOCH WHAT HE DESERVIES!"

"I didn't let them! They over powered me! It was ten Russians to one Italian, Captain! ... Please why said that …that they would do it again if I did anything about it..."

"FUCK DAMN THEM! Vhy must everything go vrong!" I choked out; I was having a hard time to putting my thoughts into words "Italy, you need to get stronger to protect yourself..."

Then I look at Italy and he starts to tear up and my chest starts to hurt.

"I'm trying Captain! In this situation, it would not have made a difference… even if I was as strong as you I would have lost…" Italy replied solemnly

"Damn it! ... You… you can no longer leave my side Italia so you will be safe, I don't vant anything to happen like this again…please." I choke out.

Italy answered quickly "Si Captain, I am sorry" As if he knew how much it would break me if he refused.

"Please stop calling me captain, it make me feel as if I am to blame for this… even though if I were with you it wouldn't of have happened" I say with guilt.

"All right sir. I'm sorry." Is all Italy could muster before he hid his face in his hands "I'm … so sorry"

I put my hand on Italy's head and said calmly "It's all right, you are not dead and that is all that matters" Then on impulse I pull him into a hug.

He hugged me back then lifted his head up and started talking again "Si… I ran out when they all fell asleep from drinking too much… On the bright side I got what I was looking for."

"Got vhat? Vhat did you receive?"

_**Im sorry if I forgot any punctuation that is probably my biggest grammar problem so sorry -.-'**_


	2. Chapter 2

Italy moves his hand and shuffles it around his pocket and pulls out a crumpled stack of papers and hand them to me.

"These… they are battle plans! How did you get them, and vhy would you of gone so far to get them?!" I point out in shock.

"Y-you told me I should have done something to help, I'm no good at fighting but I am good at being sneaky! So I thought I would get them to show you, so that they could be of some use to you" Italy admitted

"IT WASN'T WORTH IT, TELL ME HOW WE ARE AHEAD IF YOU ARE BATTERED UP LIKE THAT" I snapped at him.

He replied back in a serious tone that I have never heard him speak in "Yes, it was worth it... now we know what they are going to do in the nearby future and we can save tons more lives that way. Compared to that my life is useless…" then he smiled right after saying the most depressing thing I have ever heard.

"Italy! What about the people of your country vhat vill happen to them if you die, what vill happen to your people without you!" then I start to choke up and my eyes get misty " You.. IDIOT"

"Ve! I'm sorry! And nothing would happen to them somebody would replace me, or Romano will take over for me...please...please…don't be mad at me." Italy said in a panic and tear were rolling down his face

"Nobody else on earth could be you, and your brother is no better he would do the exact same thing! ... Vhat gave you the courage to do that; you never would of before vhy…vhy now"

Italy wipes his eyes then says "I…I thought you would like me better if I proved that I could so something brave"

"NEIN, Italy I like you the vay you are! Don't go and get yourself killed vhat good could that possibly do for you?"

"I don't know…I heard some of your men saying that you would be better off without me… and all I want is for you to be happy… maybe if I were gone, you would be happy… so either I come back with information and help you that way or don't come back at all"

"MY MEN ARE NOT ME ITALIA!"

He looks shocked the stares at the ground and says "…I know…"

"Then vhy, vhy would you think that Italia" I said

"I don't know…It's just that…I am always getting into trouble and having to be saved by you all the time… I just figured that you would be better off without me" Italy admitted with tears beading down his face

"Half of the time you aren't actually in trouble and I don't mind helping you…Yes vhen we first met you annoyed me, but now I don't know how I could live without you."

He looks me in the eyes and goes "Really? You aren't just saying that so I don't do something reckless again..."

I look right back and him and reply with a simple "Really."

"Really, really?"

"Yes, you are to important to me for me to let anything like that happen ever again"

I was cut off by Italy hugging me and saying "I-I just wanted to make you happy"

"I am happy is vhat you don't get it" I say hugging him back.

"I really don't get it … you are always telling me off, and everyone is always telling me how much of a nuisance I am to you"

"Ich am sorry, that is just how I am please forgive me I'll try and hold it back more and don't listen to what the others say" I reply a little embarrassed

"There is nothing for you to forgive…I was never mad at you for yelling at me… Just upset that I could not do what you wanted…I won't listen to them, I promise."

"Yes, sometimes you need to be stronger but I don't want you in yourself to change. Also if there is something you can do just tell me."

Italy saluted me then said "Si, I will do my best"

I sigh with relief then say "Danke Italia"

"OH! One other thing…"

"Vhat is it Italy?" I ask with wonder

"… I punched one of your soldiers this morning…I thought I should tell you before he tells on me"

I look at him with a little bit of shock when start to chuckle "Ha-ha he probably deserved it"


	3. Chapter 3

Italy replied cheerfully "Si! He did! He said you were gay, so I punched him in the face and broke his nose!"

"…But…"

He looked at me questioningly "But what?"

"Ah… It's nothing…" Is all I could come up with.

He looked at me confused "No, it's something! Tell me!" Italy demanded with curiosity "TellmeTellmeTellme! Are you going to say how great it was that I defended your honor?!"

"Nein, it's just that… I really like you Italy"

" Ve~ I really like you too Germany, now tell me what 'its' all about"

" No…I mean…I-Ich…l-leibe…dich …Dah.."

I managed to spit it out but then Italy quickly said. "Germany, you know I don't speak German…"

I replied slowly. "But you speak English…" I sit there a moment trying to put together my words " I..I-love you…Italy" I was afraid of his response what if he hated me for saying this.

He was shocked to say in the least all he could say is "…VE?!"

"I am not lying Italy.."

"Y-you promise?! Because if this is a joke I will gladly punch your nose as well."

"I'm not joking have you ever once seen me joke! ... I promise that this is not a joke..."

I kissed his cheek to prove myself, he cheeks flushed with red.

He started giggling sweetly. "Hehe…Germany"

"Vhat?" I asked curiously

Then Italy pulled on my collar and lowers my head. Then he pressed his delicate lips onto mine. Needless to say I was shocked but I tried my best to deepen the kiss. Then I pulled back for air.

"I-Italy, you … you love me... I was thinking that this vould of been extremely awkward for you." I managed to say after I caught my breath.

"I do, It was awkward when I first realized it... but that was ages ago and I got used to the idea of it and just figured to hold my feelings back so we could at least be friends…So now that you said that you love me too I don't have to hold back anymore! Sure it's not really legal for me… because I am Italy, a pure blood catholic ...but I still love you" Italy said while he wrapped his arms around me

"Vhen did you first figure out that you liked me, Ich am curious" I say blushing furiously.

"Erm…A while back…" Italy said while looking around awkwardly.

"Italy? Are you alright, are you hiding something from me?"

A small "maybe" escaped from his lips

"Italy tell me I told you what I was hiding!"

"I...I have loved you ever since you found me in the tomato box…" Italy said meekly

"I didn't know you at all then, you little tomato box fairy" I say playfully

"…Ve~I don't know…Love at first sight I guess" Italy said burying his face into his hands

"oh…" I did not expect him to say something like that "Ich am not sure how long I have loved you.."

"T-that's okay…I wasn't trying to see who liked who longer or anything…"

"I-It's okay…Ich never thought ...you would see me so flustered" I say still completely red.

"Si…but I like it you're cute…no manly…wait no, handsome?" Italy says panicking

I picked his lips to try and calm him down "it's okay"

"Hehehe…I'm not dreaming right?" he says almost if he was asleep

"No, you are not dreaming Italia" I reply calmly "If you were, I vould be as well"

"Soo…If I kissed you…when I opened my eyes you would still be here?"

"Yes, I am not going anyvhere."

Italy looked at me for a minute then leaned forward got on his toes and kissed me on my lips. I kissed him back then grabbed Italy and held him tight. Then Italy hugged me tightly and wrapped his arms around my neck. I picked up Italy so that he wasn't on his toes any more once I did that he wrapped his legs around my waist.

While still holding him I break the kiss and ask "Italy…Is this okay? …I do love you but what will our siblings say, they will kill us when they find out."

"We don't have to say anything yet. I'm pretty sure Romano would kill you and the Vatican would kill me"

"True, Prussia vould kick me half vay across Europe. Plus the church would kill me as well"

"Not to mention our bosses, your boss would send us both to a camp…" Italy said sadly.

"…True…Fuck! Vhy must we keep this a secret, vhy can't people just accept it!" I was furious

"Because it's different… and people are mean"

"I can't help who I fall in love vith though"

"I … don't know what to do now"

"Me neither … I guess we are in a bind aren't we"

Italy looked at me hurt "I would understand… if you didn't think we should do this"

Shocked I reply quickly "No! I don't think I could stand living if I were not with you now that you know…"

"Me too…I guess that means that we will have to keep this a secret for a long time…."

"Yes I am sorry that we have to keep it a secret"

"Ve… don't be I kept it a secret that I loved you for years… I don't mind keeping it a secret now that we're together" Italy said cheerfully trying to cheer me up.


	4. Chapter 4

_**WARNING: MAY CAUSE DIABETES**_

"Thank you… I vonder if we could at least tell Japan, his culture is very accepting of this stuff"

"Si! I don't think he would mine, at least I hope he won't."

" I more of hope that does not tell anyone." I worry

"He wouldn't tell anyone, if he did he would lose his honor"

"True, at least we would have someone that we wouldn't have to keep a straight face around"

Italy started laughing then said "Si! Straight face"

"yes you did, you said 'keep a straight face' and its funny because were not straight" He coughed awkwardly then continued "I'm sorry it was funnier in my head"

Then I got the joke and laughed a bit "oh haha"

His eyes widened " Ve~ I like it when you laugh"

I turned a little bit red then complimented back saying " I like it vhen you smile"

He blushed a bit then repeated himself "I like it when you laugh."

" I'm sorry that I don't laugh more then."

"it's okay, it makes it even more special when you do laugh!"

"Ohh…I like it when I can see your eyes"

Italy's face turned red " R-really? …My fratello says that they are creepy because they are so lucid…"

"No honestly it's your brother that creeps me out, he looks so much like you but is the complete polar opposite. Your eyes are very pretty like amber."

Italy starts to giggle and blushes even more than he already was. "Ve~ Thank you… Has anyone ever told you that your eyes look like the sky?"

That phrase shocked me nobody has ever said that they liked my eyes, if anything people have always seems somehow afraid when I would look at them.

" Are you sure… I have been told that they look soulless"

" Well who ever said that is an idiota…they are beautiful, deep and I could look into them forever"

" Well… I could look into your eyes forever but they are not always open"

As soon as I said that his beautiful amber eyes shot open and looked me in the eyes.

"Well that makes you more special because I don't always see you"

That made no sense to me; he was walking around blindly most of the time?

"Si! It's like a talent of mine, like I can see with my feet!"

I look at him strangely "That is kind of veird" But then I smile

"I know… But it comes in handy in the dark!" He said smiling

"I can't do anything like that, I have no interesting skills"

I say that and Italy sort of freaks out as if I said the most preposterous thing in the world.

"What are you talking about? You have so many talents like you can remember things easily, and super strong , and fast, and smart, and you can read books very quickly" Italy rambled, he kept on talking like this for a few minutes before I interrupted him my face was flushed red.

"Those are not talents; especially being strong it's only that Ich work out, it's just a habit. It's not anything special."

"I think it is something special, I have never met anyone as dedicated as you are, including working out"

That made me flustered "Thanks…" I spit out and Italy looked at me confused "Thank you for the complements, nobody ever says anything nice to me…It feels weird"

"Ve~ Then I guess I will just have to complement you all the time then" Italy said cheerfully.

"No, you don't have to do that it won't be as special if you do."

"True…then...umm...Oh I got it! I'll just write them down then tell them on special days~" He said cheerfully

"Okay then…" I didn't know what to say but my actions spoke for me because then pushed back his hair and kissed his forehead.

He blushed then questioned me sweetly "So… does this mean… that we are together?"

"Yes Italy, I believe it does."

"Yay~ that makes-a me happy" Then jumped and hugged me almost knocking me over.

Once I catch my balance I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. I look at him before he could say anything more I kissed him on the lips. He did not resist but then broke the kiss.

"Hey…Germany…What do people in your country do when they get together?"

_**A/N I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DIABETES THIS MAY OF CAUSED I FEEL SICK NOW AFTER WRITEING THIS PART xD **_


	5. Chapter 5

**I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING :U**

For some reason I was not expecting a question like this, I had to think about it and I only could think of one thing my face turned red as I try and coke out the answer " Umm they…."I pulled on my shirt collar and couldn't finish then Italy spoke up

" They what?" He looked at me with those innocent amber eyes and I couldn't just not reply to him.

"T-they tell each other that they love one another and they." I cough and try to continue " M-make love" I cough again trying to be inconspicuous .

Italy blushed and looked away " Ummm…C-can we do that too?"

That took me off guard " Ich am not really for that yet…It's so sudden that we are even you know…"

"I didn't mean now or anything!" Italy started panicking " I just meant 'can' we do it , as in is it possible for guys to ….you know …"

My face started to burn, did he seriously not know that they could. I knew he was innocent but I never thought he would be /that/ innocent .

"Yeah… It/is/possible but I am not going to be the one who tells you how that works." I could feel my face burning from the embarrassment I was feeling "You are so innocent and that is one of the things I like about you, and Ich am not going to be the one who vill tell you that."

"Come on Germany!" Italy pouted "I am not that innocent give me credit, come on I /am /_Italian."_

"I don't care Ich cannot and will not be the person to tell you that" My face probably as red as how Spain would say it 'a tomato'

Italy started giggling "Ve~ that's so cute Germany your face getting that red, I am sorry I lied to you just then _I do know _how that works. But I just wanted to see how red you would get and it was the cutest thing I think I have ever seen in my entire life~" He hugged me quickly I think he thought he might of angered me

He played me, normally I would have been furious so I could see why he tried to calm me down but I wasn't angry at all. I was just happy to have him here I didn't care what he was doing…scratch that I do care what he is doing, I care more than anything in the world because I can protect him if he is here with me.

He looked at me then smiled. "So Germany if we are not going to do _that_ could we at least do the other thing?"

After Italy getting me so flushed I don't even know what I said anymore. "Vhat other part?"

"You know~ tell each other that we love one another"

"Ich thought ve have already done that."

"Ve~ We have, but I just want to do it more if that's okay" Italy looked a bit worried as if I lost interest in him in the last few minutes. " I love you Italy." The words rolled off my tongue so easily when earlier it seemed as if I would never get to say them to him.

He tacked me into a hug then kissed my cheek "Ve! I love you too Germany"

"I love you more than anything Italy,"

"I love you more than anything as well! Including pasta." Italy said happily

" Ich thought pasta vas your favorite thing in the whole world, are you sure you like me more than it?

"Si, I can live without pasta but I don't think I can live without you"

That blew me away and my face flushed with red. " I am so happy to hear you say that Italy my face still burning.

"And I am happy to be able to say that to you Germany~"

I didn't know what to say, I really didn't want to speak I just sat there look at him. He was so beautiful and happy even with his battered body that he had gotten earlier today.

Italy grabbed my hand which was resting on the couch and held it tight. "Ti amo, Germany"

"Italy, just like you cannot speak my language I cannot speak yours"

"I am aware." Italy giggled "It means I love you"

"Vell then, Ich leibe dich" I say a smiling

"Ve, Germany do you have a human name?"

"Yeah I do It is Ludwig"

"Ludwig…" He repeated "I like it~ it suits you"

"Danke Italy, so what is your human name?"

"Guess~" Italy responded playfully.

"Ummm…Feliciano?"

"How did you know! Only mia fratello knew that."

"It was only a guess…" I said honestly.

"Ve~ That's amazing, Luddy"

" N-not really"

"W-what are we supposed to be doing now…"

I never really thought about that "Umm…Ich vouldn't know I've never been in a relationship before"

"Me neither, well unless you count when I was a child… but I was told he died…so I don't think that counts." Italy said his voice growing a more serious and depressing tone.

"Oh…Ich am sorry…I didn't vant to bring up anything so depressing as that.."

"Veh…It happened a long time ago so it's okay just make sure you don't die on me." He said his tone picking up a bit.

"Okay I'll try not to die on you"

"No, that's not good enough… I need you to promise that you will never die on me"

"Fine I promise that I von't die."

"Yay~ Because if you died I think I would die as well ..."

"Promise me that you won't die either"

"Ve~ I promise and if you don't die and I don't die that means we can be together forever~" Italy said cheerfully.

"Zhat vould be nice."

Italy kissed me then spoke again " I promise I won't do anything reckless again, like I did earlier."

"Danke, und Ich promise to protect you." Then I hug Italy tightly.

"Grazzie…eek lybee deek" He says trying he best to speak German.

"Zhat's cute but its Ich leibe dich. Ti amo Feliciano." I try my best to pronounce it correctly but it was horrid.

Italy hugs me then looks up with a sad look on his face.

"Vhat's wrong Feliciano?"

"Will we only be able to say that here?" Italy said tears pecking at his eyes.

" Yeah…I am sorry but that is vhy I got a bit upset earlier." I replied solemnly.

Italy perked up with an idea. "Well…We can make the best of it! This is your house, so we could do whatever we want~"

"True, very true." Is all I could respond with.

"So…What do we do now Mr. Ludwig?"

"I don't know, and do not call me Mister." I say a bit agitated.

Italy started to giggle happily "Ve~ I just wanted to see your reaction" Then he winks at me

I blush a bit then speak "It makes me feel like a teacher."

He starts to laugh hysterically "Sensei! Japan would call you that~"

"Just quit Ich don't like it." I pat his head lightly then my hand slipped.

_**A/N I'm sorry for how terrible this probably is ;-; I'm not really good at writing in general **_


End file.
